You ever watch the movie The Coal Miner's Daughter? Where Loretta Lynn's mom was dancing a little jig listening to the Grand O Opry? I think they call it clogging, and my Grandma could do this little jig. When I was really young, she tried to teach me, but I failed miserably.She taught me so much, so many things, some sunk in, some didnt.(sorry Grandma) And I believe there are Guardian Angels and I have more than others because Im so clumsy, that watch over me. So when Grandma was in heaven,she asked God to watch over me, and GOD in all his wisdom, HE asks"YOU SURE?"
There was the time where I was sitting near her on the couch, and I kept asking her to 'stick' her false teeth out, you know, like a werewolf kinda, i was around eight, and It was hilarious! I was all gigglin' and she did it, but all of a sudden, the false teeth came flying out and into my lap!! I screamed, she was both laughing and hollerin' at me "Child, don't break my teeth!!"(grandma talked about that for years) And she had a out house that I simply HATED,and the dreadful rooster that would come looking for ya when you re in there, and the beady red eye lookin' between the slats that made up the old out house! Not to mention the spiders and wasps or whatever that could get hold of ya while you're in there! And I loved the stories of her and her little brother Wayne and all their shenanigans. When I became a little older she and I would go and pick blackberries but ya have to put all this garb on,(to protect our skin, before sun screen) long sleeved shirt, a hat that she would actually put on you, and gloves. Its only 110 out that's all. And as we picked our berries she would talk about snakes! Big snakes of the past, the snakes of the future,just many stories of snakes. By the time we were done, I was lookin' around for an Anaconda! Uh, and talk about Polk Salad, I hated that stuff cause it seems like it would never get clean, but she could cook it so good, ya forgot all the grit. She had a sister Aunt Mamie, she lived in a holler in the Ozarks, they had a mean rooster too!
Aunt Mamie cooked some real tasty chicken that night I was over there (hee hee). Aunt Mamie and Grandma kept a rain barrel, and when it rained, you would wash your hair in it, and it was so soft, I guess that was before chemicals and toxins in the air now-adays. What do we do with all the hard core grief, someone that was and is so much you're life, the main staple of well being. How do I process it? Not to want and miss someone so much. I guess we learn from all that she did for me. I'm trying but after that snap of the zippo lighter, I think of her alot. Let me tell you a secret, I never cry. But I cried writing this. So here I am, a grand-daughter that selfishly wanting,yearning for a gruffly voiced,peppermint eating, smoking lady that can take me out to pick blackberries. She is a big part of me, and I hope I do you proud, grandma. I love you.
Her name was Alta Mae Wood Oxford Montgomery, but I called her grandma. I can't say on it all started with this, even tho I think about her alot, it all began with a sound. I was outside with the gals at a family reunion,(I'm non smoker) and there it was...'SNAP'. Very subtle but powerful. It was the sound of a zippo lighter shutting. I remember that I turned my head, unbeknowst to them, I was searching, for what I don't know. Maybe for a split second in my mind I thought she would be sitting there, maybe I was searching for memories, maybe it was a sign. But that little 'snap' and the smell of butane, it all made me happy. Grandma was a heavy smoker and she smelt of cigarettes,zippo,and peppermint. It dawned on me I was unconsciously SEEKING for her, I know, that sounds crazy, like for instance, there is a neighbor with long thick pretty nails always polished,and when I talk to her I tend to gaze at the nails like Grandma.
There was the time where I was sitting near her on the couch, and I kept asking her to 'stick' her false teeth out, you know, like a werewolf kinda, i was around eight, and It was hilarious! I was all gigglin' and she did it, but all of a sudden, the false teeth came flying out and into my lap!! I screamed, she was both laughing and hollerin' at me "Child, don't break my teeth!!"(grandma talked about that for years) And she had a out house that I simply HATED,and the dreadful rooster that would come looking for ya when you re in there, and the beady red eye lookin' between the slats that made up the old out house! Not to mention the spiders and wasps or whatever that could get hold of ya while you're in there! And I loved the stories of her and her little brother Wayne and all their shenanigans. When I became a little older she and I would go and pick blackberries but ya have to put all this garb on,(to protect our skin, before sun screen) long sleeved shirt, a hat that she would actually put on you, and gloves. Its only 110 out that's all. And as we picked our berries she would talk about snakes! Big snakes of the past, the snakes of the future,just many stories of snakes. By the time we were done, I was lookin' around for an Anaconda! Uh, and talk about Polk Salad, I hated that stuff cause it seems like it would never get clean, but she could cook it so good, ya forgot all the grit. She had a sister Aunt Mamie, she lived in a holler in the Ozarks, they had a mean rooster too! Aunt Mamie cooked some real tasty chicken that night I was over there (hee hee). Aunt Mamie and Grandma kept a rain barrel, and when it rained, you would wash your hair in it, and it was so soft, I guess that was before chemicals and toxins in the air now-adays. What do we do with all the hard core grief, someone that was and is so much you're life, the main staple of well being. How do I process it? Not to want and miss someone so much. I guess we learn from all that she did for me. I'm trying but after that snap of the zippo lighter, I think of her alot. Let me tell you a secret, I never cry. But I cried writing this. So here I am, a grand-daughter that selfishly wanting,yearning for a gruffly voiced,peppermint eating, smoking lady that can take me out to pick blackberries. She is a big part of me, and I hope I do you proud, grandma. I love you.  |
| my oldest son Jeremy and GRANDMA |
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